Desertion

"Tia" Rosa had obviously been waiting for me. I was guided by a "cousin" to where she sat. There were a couple of chairs in the middle of the patio area that they called their living room. This looked like where they did their tv watching and guest entertaining. I was told that people in Otoro will come out in hordes to greet a fellow family member that was coming from the States. Yes, they were there in the back waiting, but first I was going to be lectured by my Aunt. She was meticulously rocking her armchair back and forth and carefully eyeing me as I came in and introduced. There was a big picture of a man in the anteroom, but I supposed that he was no longer around and Tia Rosa was now in command of her family and this current situation. This was a woman that I did not know existed until I had to come to Honduras. My dad had mentioned that maybe I should get in touch with a lady in Honduras where I could stay once I got to Otoro. He had given me her phone number which I did not use until I was in Tegucigalpa. Through our brief conversations I had gathered that she was a serious woman short on words, the kind that say a lot with very little and when joked caught you off guard because you never expected it. Our first conversation was no small talk and divulged in our relationship. Eventhough she was not my real Aunt, in agreement and by her request I was to call her "Aunt" from then on . She had motioned for me to sit in front of her and was diving in.

"I feel abandoned by your father," she had begun.

I was not expecting this!

"I took care of him like my own son since I was just a girl."

"Twelve!" she punctuated.

"Then one one day when he had just turned sixteen he just got up, left, and never really came back. Just stopped by once in a while as he distanced himself more and more until completely disappearing."

I began wondering if I was being welcomed or was about to be told why I was being turned away. It seemed to me that this was not a conversation to be had between my Aunt and I.

"Tia," I began, trying to defend myself and instantly felt queazy using the family term. "I'm in Otoro because I want to learn about my roots. I feel that there are many things that I don't know that I should, and after here I'm leaving for San Pedro Sula to do the same with my Mom's side of the family." She quickly gathered that I was putting whatever regrets she had on my Dad and that I was feeling unwelcomed.

"Sure, this is not about you but about your Dad. But he called me last week after decades of no communication and now expects me to host his son. Put yourself in my shoes and see how that sounds."

What a welcome! I thought. I was fidgeting and sweating in my chair, and it was not because of the 120% humidity that blanketed the air. My body language said it all. I was seating at the edge of the chair and held a stance that said "I want out of here."

"Let's calm down," she said. "It's just something that I had to say."

"I know that you are tired from your trip. This room on the right will be yours. It was where your father was born. You came to the right place to learn about your family."

As she said this, she signaled to those waiting on the side to come along. I still had mixed feelings about this place where I was suppose to stay. I felt like I'd just been rebuked in front of everyone and it was now time to put that aside and get to know them. I could not put in order or remember everyone that was introduced. When I was alone in my small room, I took a piece of paper and began to draft a family tree. If I wanted to get to know my family history, I will have to learn their's first. They seemed to be a large family of about twelve. Mostly women and only two men. This was a strange situation, I did not know If should be angry at my dad or at my Tia for ambushing me. Or if I should just make up an excuse that will get me out of here. In any case, she seemed to be the type of woman that will not keep any secrets and will not hesitate to tell me everything about my Grandfather.